Suddenly the day seemed so meaningless. Very meaningless.
What was I doing there?
I looked around... who's with me? just me? me even?
I trudged back. Seems like its just myself again. Why? why am i doing this?
It's just this week, it's just this week. It's JUST this week.
On the train back, read a book and my mood just grew and grew. Why? Some words clicked, some snapped at me. gasp.
Then reasons upon reasons, it crashed down me. Questions that long ago were asked and found no answer. I had shelved it away in the 'it doesn't matter' section. an answer knocked before me. is it even true? seemed so true. ARGH!
It's pathetic. One thing led to another answer which led to another question to another reason and another conclusion. I didn't like the conclusion. Not about myself. Not the Hows nor the Whys nor the Sos..
Then it must be... no. I cannot be this. I cannot. It's so common! No. Something must be done.
Stop it. It's as if i'm being attacked. stop crying. you're old enough. don't just point at it and do nothing. do something.
do something before i start calling myself names.
do it. break it.
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