Qin is back!

Every semester was like a cycle.

We used to count months, then weeks, then days.

How precious those text messages were to me.

Now that Qin is back, we'd count the hours.

and we could contact each other anytime of the day. it's like the greatest thing.

I can't express how happy I am. My heart is doing little skips inside all day. =D

I can't imagine how we made it through all those months. but we did.

Now we can finally do things together! like having dinner together, sit in a car together, hear each other laugh at jokes, play Mario Kart on the NDS with my brothers (though i keep losing, haha) and watch shows/movies. and maybe do jigsaw puzzles too!

Happiness

I had a nice talk with one of my colleagues and it helped me realise one thing... that i may not be as happy as i was 1 year ago. i truly radiated in joy and life and i felt so at home when i was there with these people last year. i would also say, on all grounds, i felt lighter, more positive, jubilant and thankful for everything little, even minute thing.

perhaps it was the cumulative frustration i felt in this one year?

perhaps it was the people i met along the way?

perhaps it was just simply a change in character?

perhaps it was the lifestyle of work?

perhaps it was the lifestyle of nothing regular and routine?

i do not know. but i do want to be happier. and the pursuit of happiness cannot be after happiness. it has to be after Love. by that, i mean, God. the Love of God.

you know how people say you can tell if a person is in love?

he/she will radiate and glow and look more beautiful than they had been before. their warm and joy beams the entire room. or how their eyes sparkle at the mention of a special name.

i remember fondly how i was eating a burger before a lecture (we didn't have time for dinner break!) and a classmate of mine sitting in front of me turned around and caught a glance of me taking a bite. he took a double take and ended up looking for more than a few seconds. after some prodding, he finally stuttered that he couldn't believe how happy i looked eating my food. my eyes sparkled. i had no clue what he was talking about. i was just chewing. hahaha. but i do remember how in love i was at that time. and i could feel it in my bones and have this 'high' in my brain wherever i walk. it makes me want to sing, dance (but i didn't want to embarrass myself) and act funny.

i find that these days, i've lost it. i can't bring myself to be like that because it would take lots of effort, and i might most probably end up more tired.

its time to find He who loves endlessly and unconditionally and ask Him to fill me again with this love, so i can give it out and share it around. 

'the joy of the Lord, is my strength.'

and so it will be.

Goodbye my Shirtbag

Someone stole my shirt bag!!!

It was taken away while i was at work and it contains my precious wallet (with ic, cards and all), keys, work diary, my favourite uber cool umbrella and my mac laptop charger... lost a gift diana gave me from taiwan, and a nice name card holder dear bought for me at convocation, my dear's photo (as well as mine)... and of course some cash. sigh sigh sigh. why so tragic.

this year tragedy struck my handphone (water soaked over it and therefore it crashed) just in july, and now this. the greatest irony is that the very day i lost my things, i was actually nagging my colleague not to leave her valuables, aka laptop, wallet, camera equipment... and who'd think i'd actually get to tell the unfortunate tale?

The bag was kept together with everyone else's, only that it was on top. hence it was the first to go. only when i was going to check on our belongings that i realised it was gone.

i miss my shirt bag and everything in it.

i am relieved though that no one took the laptops...

my job is changing me in more ways than one. LITERALLY.

went home at 3am that night and woke up at 7.30am. then spent a few hours walking around settling all these procedures for lost things. i've got blisters in my feet. =( bad shoes...

so i got a chance to change my bank atm cards (uob has a nicer atm card now though, just launched 3 days ago) and renew my pin number ( i actually forgot my pin... shows how much i actually used it), and my ocbc atm card was starting to peel, so now its new and shiny.

my fear is that someone might start coming to my house with the keys since they know my address... paranoia...

Family Matters

We had a very lively cell discussion on friday, and it is still lingering in my mind till now.

Some things had been forgotten until we brought it up. yixin shared about her experience. some of us had our own set of difficulties to face too though it was too easy just saying it. i was afraid i made some things sound too easy. because they really are not. it is so tempting to compare.

i consider myself blessed. blessed to have some difficulties to make me learn how to overcome. blessed to see some fruits, and blessed to be taught perseverance.

this week made me think again about the people i see everyday (most of them).

and how the commandment 'honour thy father and mother' is actually a commandment, and not just a suggestion. and also to love your brother (and sister).

Talking with someone about some things in our childhood brought back even more memories and how things seem to be so different now. some things don't change though. or rather, they have not changed YET. i can only do my part in the family and hope for the best.

the common phrase i keep hearing now is, ' i know it's not your job, but can you help me/do this...?'

and i wonder if there's such a thing as this phrase in the family? should have right?

i was reminded about how many people have gripes and complaints about their parents and how they have been affected by them too. how their parents have changed their lives. how they are who they are today because of their parents.

i am reminded to continuously be merciful and forgiving, and to be thankful, for i have been given a treasure i shall not trade.

Just Yell Fire

Just watched this video called 'Just Yell Fire', it is a self defence video for girls initiated by this very vocal girl. what an admiration to begin something so valuable and practical to all girls.

Visit this website and download the film. =)

http://www.justyellfire.com/

I actually hope I won't HAVE to use it but it might come in handy when i visit the country Down Under.

Blotched

Today I spent the whole day with my little brother playing games and brought him to church. Really feel that with everyone getting so caught up with what we’re doing, we forget those who need our presence. Especially family. Like they say, when all things come to an end, what matters most is our relationships with the people most important to us.

About work: it is a good thing I took up this job. Never mind the pay or how it’s not directly related to what I studied. Or etc. but I knew it when I knew it I had to take up this job. It was strange. I had peace. Well, timing was perfect. The topic was my pet cause. But only God would know what was in store for me.

Anyway, to skip the whole intro part, I currently suspect I’m being spiritually attacked. I never used to believe it much before but now it’s dawning on me as I become more involved in my role as a researcher. Basically, I’m entering people’s homes a lot of the time and some of them have housed (harmful) spirits. This was even affirmed by those who are of a different faith than me and hence, seems to be clearer to me that those things are really true (and evil). (sometimes they’d follow the crew home and wouldn’t leave until even their socks are thrown away.) Homes nowadays have huge statues and symbols. I mean, I was even ‘attacked’ by someone who was mentally unsound by whose family is of the same religion as I am- I bear no grudges at all. How could I be angry with such a person? Where is safe now?

At this house (which was a huge mess), all I did was help them clean up the place for barely an hour, and I got bitten by an insect (or was it?) when the rest of the crew had been there for the past 2 days with no bites or side effects. How can that be? Did I disturb anything? But why was I the exception right? Well, it’s been 1 entire month and I’ve got a swollen bite on my leg. Yucks. i hope medication really works. And lots of prayer too.

Well, I was warned. And I better believe it. Perhaps I was weak that’s why I was targeted. So I’m warned.

Did I mention that I’m sick again? Coughing badly this time. Again. I tell you, for the whole 4 years of recent school and toil and I hardly fell sick to simple flu and cough. Even when I had so little sleep. Now I keep falling sick. There’s no reason! I believe I’m actually well rested these days. It was comforting though that while I was at church today I did not cough at all. Everyone thought I was fine. Haha.

Anyway, please pray for me too. =) thank you…

1-for-1 Ice cream

I gotta go to Swensons! haha. And that's where we went. I had been blessed with a few vouchers from my colleague and went on a treat with Jo. WAH! Ice creams were so nice and big. and not to mention we had a wonderful girl time together.

I find such a treasure of discovery whenever we meet up. it's our special time. always knowing and thanking the One who is with us all the time. After our sessions, I feel like i've done enough talking for the whole day and can find this satisfaction of being quiet for the rest of the day. haha.

Learning to thank God. Living to thank God.

We were actually sitting at Pasta Mania for lunch when I met a social worker I'd worked with recently. It was so nice somehow, to meet 'new' people I've met through this first job. Felt like an entry into the working world. yikes.

The past week had been one of intensity. and so called, being in harm's way. I wished I had the wisdom to avoid such situations but also, it made me think twice about the people I'm working with. Welfare is really important after all. Especially when you will be at it in the long term. I think I've absorbed quite enough for a small job like this. (physically, emotionally, medically). I'm down with the sneezes and cough AGAIN. Didn't think it'll affect me so much, but haha, i can still take it. It's good experience anyway. 

Just hope that there'll be ears to listen to needs.