Believe in 2009

Been feeling a rather an odd self creeping up along in me these days. Like a desperation to want to return to a certain state of an old self. Nothing has really changed, yet so much has changed, so different. Feels different. I guess I haven't been a person of such precise and analytics of mind, a person who drifts in vagueness yet has much certainty of where her foot lands her.

I know it might not make sense to anyone.

2009.

People are having second thoughts about film. It's the economical climate, it's the head-banging reality hitting you. It's dwindling passion and need for money. It's boredom and lethargy.

I've always told God, if I were to be in the film industry. It doesn't matter if I'm not famous. Fame is not what I'm after, although it might be a powerful thing. As long as what comes out of it is for good, the better and the best for... I can do so much and play my part, as long as ... People are touched and changed. FOR GOOD. FOR LIFE.

What are the films you remember? Do they play a part in how you think? Sounds so insignificant.

All great things begin from seemingly insignificant things. At least that's how people make them out to be.

No one believed the man who declared that the earth is round. Does it even matter? We're alive anyway. But it paved the way for more things to come.

I know what I need to do. (Do I really?) But I'm terrified. It's like jumping into the deep end of... a cliff. I can swim in the deep end of the pool but I can't fly from a cliff... can I?

Boy, do I so not like naggy feelings. They haunt me. I need peace. I need to realign myself. please.