Today's such a rush-rush day. Woke up in a rush. Went to school in a daze. Did all our presentations in a rush. Sat through the worst Quiz in history in AFHistory (ahh.. literally). Presented in a blank. i just felt like i was some retard or something, seeing things go by but nothing going into my mind. Found myself staring at pages and words but only my eyes are looking, with no productivity going on.
I think something is wrong today. gonna have to pray about it. i hope it gets better... or i get better.
i'm just grateful that my mum was so kind to drive me home tonight after lecture. it started at 5.30pm, supposed to end at 8.30pm, but it ended at almost 10pm instead. Well, probably the good thing is, that this helped me start my inertia going, and i can use it to drive me on.
Despite all that, Good NEWs!
i'm continually reminded of how good God is. He has provided for my family again. Yet Again! my dad got his contract renewed by a shave.. and that means he gets to keep his job! Praise God! God really blesses those who use what they have to serve Him. and I know my dad is blessed!
And best. God is so real... what was given to my mum in a dream is amazingly fulfilled as God provided for a church building that looked exactly as the one in the dream He gave my mum! There's a spirit of excitement now and i think its a season of rejoicing.
I look at all this. and i wonder which part of all of this am i in? is it a small part? something more grand? or does it matter? i look at what i can do and what i'm made of. and i don't know how i can help, or what i can use. of course i feel inadequate, of course i feel small. very small. very weak. very silly. a blumbering bob head who looks blur and confused all the time (yes i know how i can look like sometimes with those eyebrows, or lack of, of mine.) but what's the main point? using and doing whatever little thing i can do now. perhaps. just take a step in the right direction everyday.
when everyone's going through a good time, i just don't want to be left out, or left behind.
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